


you make me want to stay

by rocketshiptospace



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 06:23:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocketshiptospace/pseuds/rocketshiptospace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is hard. Gavin knows this, has know this all his life. He has seen people he knew fight for it and loose, falling apart in the process. He has also seen victories, yes, but they seems so rare these days that he actually started to believe it was near impossible.</p>
<p>And then he met Dan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you make me want to stay

**Author's Note:**

> secret santa present for dave
> 
> original prompt: really anything dan/gavin though im partial to sad things and things that really focus on the stress of their relationship

Love is hard. Gavin knows this, has know this all his life. He has seen people he knew fight for it and loose, falling apart in the process. He has also seen victories, yes, but they seems so rare these days that he actually started to believe it was near impossible.

And then he met Dan.

It's in the middle of a rough patch in his life, one where he's losing all his friends because they're more interested in drugs and he's more interested in video games and suddenly Dan’s there, with his calming presence and his shared love for games.

He falls in love with Dan without realizing it, somewhere between laughing at him as he tries to get a certain achievement and dicking around while making their SlowMoGuys videos. One day he just looks at Dan and thinks: "Yes, you are the one."

But of course he handles his feelings the Gavin way and keeps them to himself, smiling at Dan and laughing with him, but never saying a word. He's convinced Dan doesn't like him back that way and he's ok with that, as long as Dan will be his friend he's ok with it.

Until he's not.

Because suddenly Dan starts taking girls home and proudly introduces them to Gavin, arm protectively slung around their waist and Gavin feels like he's going to throw up, because he's never going to be the one Dan will look at with that special glint in his eyes, he will never be the one Dan holds like that, kisses like that.

It actually becomes frustrating and painful to be around Dan at one point so Gavin tries to pull away. He stops spending as much time with him and he knows Dan notices, but Dan just looks at Gavin with sad eyes and says nothing.

Gavin sees at as a sign from the universe that they're just not meant to be.

He sees Dan less and less and he misses him like crazy but he can't be around Dan any longer because he just wants to be with him so much but _he can't._ And Dan seems like he's doing pretty ok without Gavin, making new friends and hanging out with other people.

It hurts a bit, seeing Dan forget about Gavin so easily (although Gavin doesn't see the looks Dan sends him when he's not looking, the 'i miss you' in his eyes and the 'can we please be friends again?' on his lips) but Gavin manages.

He tries to date other people. Cute girls with frilly dresses and bright smiles, pretty boys with button ups and shy smiles, but he keeps comparing them to Dan. None of them are like Dan and it's frustrating but all he ever wanted, all he ever wants is Dan, which is probably what leads him to the front door of Dan's house at three in the morning.

Dan opens the door and mutters something like "bloody hell it's three am what do you think you're doing?" but freezes when he sees it's Gavin.

"B." It's not a question, not a statement, not a prove that everything is right again, it's just a nickname that got so drilled in Dan's system that it's almost a reflex to say it when he sees Gavin on his doorstep at three in the morning.

But it's all Gavin really needs and he falls forward, Dan's arms easily catching him, and starts sobbing. Dan decides just to go with it and tries to comfort him (like he always does, because Gavin is a rollercoaster ride, but Dan is his safety bar).

Gavin eventually pulls away and wipes his eyes, blinking his eyes at Dan in a way that definitely doesn't make butterflies flutter in Dan's stomach.

"I'm sorry, I just, I'm sorry, ok Dan? I was a dick and I tried to push you away for stupid reason, but the truth is that I don't want to push you away because you are the best friend I ever had and I want you to be my best friend forever, I'm so sorry."

Dan just smiles and pulls the still mumbling Gavin in a tight hug. "Don't worry B, it's ok, we're good."

"I'm in love with you." Gavin mumbles in Dan's shoulder and Dan momentarily stills.

"What?"

"Oh bollocks." Gavin says, pulling away from Dan and slowly walking backwards, "I'm so sorry, B, I was not meant to say that, just forget it ok?"

But Gavin's words seem to have finally sunk in and suddenly Dan grabs Gavin's arm and pulls him forward, so their faces are only inches apart.

"Did you mean it?"

Dan's breath ghosts over Gavin's face and he has a hard time focusing on anything else beside the fact that Dan's hand is on his arm and he's really close and he's freaking out _._

"Yeah." He manages to choke out.

Suddenly Dan's lips are pressing against his and it's all he ever wanted but at the same time it's so confusing and _he can't breathe._

"Ever considered I might be in love with you too?" Dan says, and Gavin, who is slowly sobering up a bit, realizes the absurdity of the whole situation; it's three in the morning, he's standing drunk on Dan's front porch, Dan's grandparents could wake up any moment and wonder what is going on and _Dan is in love with him._

So Gavin laughs, like he always does when he's not sure what's going on. And Dan, who's known Gavin long enough, knows why he's laughing, just smiles and shakes his head. "You're such an idiot. Come on, let's get you to bed." He says and grabs a still giggling Gavin by his shoulders and leads him inside.

\--

The army. Dan's going in the army. Gavin hears the news, sees the words leave Dan's lips, but he can't fully register it. Dan's still talking right now, an excited glint in his eyes, as he paints pictures with his hands, about 'fighting for his country' and 'it's the right thing to do'.

But then again, Gavin's not really one to talk, since he's the reason they're talking on Skype right now, rather than in person. Because Gavin chased his own dreams and hopped on the plane the minute he was given the green light, not once thinking about how Dan would feel about his job at Rooster Teeth.

There was an ocean between them and with every word Dan said, the gap was only getting bigger.

It seems like Dan has noticed that Gavin is not listening anymore and instead staring lifelessly ahead, because he stops talking and taps the screen. The sound shakes Gavin from his thoughts and he sends Dan a weak smile. "Yeah, army, cool."

And Dan thinks it's genuine, because it's hard to make out in what tone Gavin is saying the words thanks to the bad connection and the grainy screen makes it hard to see that the smile on Gavin's face is fake. "I know, right? Like, you already have achieved your dreams with the whole Rooster Teeth thing and now I can achieve mine, with helping people and maybe saving their lives, you know?"

Gavin nods sadly and wonders when he stopped being Dan's dream. And when Gavin stopped being his.

\--

Their relationship went so great for so long. They were best friends and suddenly they were lovers and everyone was so supportive of them and they went on cute dates and kissed and cuddled and it was so easy, so simple.

And then Gavin got offered a permanent position at Rooster Teeth. He took it, because that's all he ever wanted and he's so excited.

Dan is the first person he told (of course he is) and he barely misses the sad flicker in Dan's eyes. "So you're moving?"

And suddenly it hit Gavin like a train that taking the job at Rooster Teeth meant leaving Dan behind and the floor disappeared from under his feet. Back then choosing between Dan and his job seemed like the worst thing in the world.

But Dan convinced him, saying that this is what Gavin wanted, that they could try long distance, that Dan would save up money to move to Texas too, because all Dan ever wanted was to be where Gavin was.

So Gavin took the job.

And it went all downhill from there.

\--

Because the thing about Dan and Gavin is that they're not long distance people. They need to see each other, hold each other, tell each other face to face they love each other.

But they can't and it's been three months since they've last seen each other and suddenly Dan's joining the army.

Gavin is laying in bed after he has hung up on Dan and stares at the ceiling, cursing the miles between them and the fact that he took this job and the entire British army, but it doesn't help him, because it doesn't change Dan's mind.

Dan's joining the army and the gap between them widens.

\--

"I'm leaving next week." Dan says and Gavin nods.

"I'll probably be there for about six months." Gavin nods again.

"They say the internet connection is really shit, so I don't know how much we'll be able to Skype." Gavin doesn't even bother to nod this time, just blinks his eyes.

"We'll be ok, right?" Dan says.

Gavin actually has to think about that question and that scares him. But it also makes him realizes that this is _Dan._

Dan, the boy with the sparkling eyes, who was his friend when no one else was.

Dan, who was always there for him, always put Gavin first, did everything Gavin ever needed from him, always let Gavin chase his dreams, no matter how ridiculous they were.

And as he looks at Dan right now, he can see all that in his eyes; 'I always let you chase your dreams, now please let me chase mine.'

He will let Dan chase his dreams, but he has to do something first.

"I have to go," he says, without ever answering Dan's question. "See  you later, love you, bye."

And the screen turns black.

\--

Dan doesn't hear from Gavin for two days and he's worried. At this point he's pretty sure the sudden goodbye on Skype was Gavin's weird way of breaking up with him without having to talk about feelings.

After all, Gavin had always a bit weird when it came to those things.

But then there's a knock on his door and Dan goes to open it and there's Gavin.

It reminds Dan a lot of the night they admitted they were in love with each other, except now Gavin's sober and it's only 6 pm.

"B." Dan says, because after all those years, the reflex never faded.

And again, that simple letter is all Gavin needs to fall forward into Dan's arms and cling on to him for dear life.

"B, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I took the job and I'm sorry we grew apart and I'm sorry you stopped being my dream, but the truth is that you're not my dream anymore because I don't have to dream you anymore, you're already there and you will always be there and I never want to change that ok?

You're my one and only, B, and sometimes we're going to miles apart and we won't see each other for weeks or months but you will always, _always,_ be the one. So, ehm, if you, like, feel the same," Gavin slowly lets go of Dan and takes something out of his pocket, falling down on one knee.

"Will you marry me?"

"Jesus Christ, Gavin, you bloody idiot, you scared the shit out of me! You disappear for two days and suddenly you show up and then this? You're bloody mental!"

"So is that a yes?"

Dan grabs Gavin's shoulders and hoists him up again so he can pull him in a hug. "Of course it is you dork."

Gavin laughs and the sound fills the air and it's ok, because they're ok.

And of course, in the years after that, there's going to be bumps in the road, fights that seem the end of it all, times they spend too far apart for too long, times they feel like everything will only go downhill, but in the end everything will be ok.

Because that's what Gavin and Dan do. They make a mess, but they make it their mess.

And it's kind of beautiful.


End file.
